Stroke of insight... Blur of foresight

A lady: She had a stroke.

She found Nibbana - Total disattachment... but she did it through freeing herself.. involuntarily, without intent from half of her mind.

Now total disattachment would mean freedom from both sides of the mind.
A kind of death in life - or so I've been lead to believe.

The involuntary part - She believes she found meditation was a way to deliver you to the same state without toil/involuntary paralysis.

Thats the same idea as peak experience leading you to insight into heaven.. or whatever grandeous state of pure hope and bliss or love you may believe as ultimate attainment/connection.

But the issue still remains - what is the path?
Is there a single path for all?
Is there a way to prolong or sustain this form of peak?

Often the peak of a mountain is where there is the least resource - the least sustainance...
and it is for those who can live on very little and do the most.

The thinnest air, the lightest food - the hardiest of all man.
I'm going to check this now but I wonder how many larger structured persons have peaked Everest?

I'm not certain.
But I do believe you can stay up there - if you have a good reason.

I was diagnosed with Bi-polar at 18. Now thats an interesting time for all but to settle this into my identity encompassed within a traditional transition period.. its a kicker.

I have spent years explaining the happening and the state I was in to myself and having it explained to me by others. External and internal validation of identity - an element of my personality.. or an extension... or a parasite.... or an illness... or a disease to be erradicated?

I'm not sure. The one I most ascribe to is that it is an aspect of my personality.
That makes it my responsibility - an ability - a talent almost - that can be held within my control. Not to the extent that I wield it like a staff of mighty psychic potentcy, but it is something over which I can exert guidance and direction.

What I feel happened was that it was disfunctionally expressed - released without regard and through a total disengagement and lack of concious awareness of how my being related to others.

I was in moments of pure sensation and I let go. What poured out was harmful - I offer two comparisons...

The first I am almost ready to invalidate of a bee in a jar.
Not a happy bee - but necessary to pollenate, makes honey.. does great things for the world.
But don't pss him off.

The second I like better. Water.
Quiet, disfunctional, clogged river head - personally stunted and fearful of my own impact, size, relevancy - unchanneled and then BOOM.
The result - some places were pure spray, indecipherable, some were energetic splutters of emotion and some were thumping bursts over which I had lost all focus or desire to control.
I hid from my responsibility and didn't seek to hold back the tide.

Not to say it wasn't necessary - not to say it didn't serve a positive function - not to say it hasn't resulted in great character... but were it to happen now it would have little justification.

The reason I mention this is because of one of those - DOH - moments.
Ever seen an invention that you actually invented. You sketched it, you talked to your mate, you got total encouragement.. it could've saved lives or inspired billions!.. but you put it in the washing machine in the back pocket of your jeans or considered that it'd never work and left it lying about til the wind of indecision took it away.

Then you see it branded, patented, trademarked and on a shelf - in a window - in the hearts, minds and hands of billions.

How? - Not important - why? - Because you brought it into being and someone stole it?
Or it was brought into being and several people recognised it and then you all raced for realising it upon mass. I like that version more.

Then perhaps you can bring that message that you had, ill-articulated - back to yourself and then spread it clearly with extra features from your own insight - fully articulated and rolling on sixteen wheels.

I was ill-equipped to bring a particular message to the world stage.
Jill Bolte Taylor has done it.

But now I have extra features that would enhance her product.
And its not her product - the intent - the message - the Word.. it came before her.
Its come through her - she added extra features or turned it slightly so we could marvel at it from another angle. Thank you Jill.

Its helped me understand something..
Her earlier work is what interests me. She eluded to it within her explanation of what lead her to neuropathology (I'm sure thats wrong - I mean brain science).

Her brother is schitzophrenic.
She wanted to figure out his brain and do a little self exploration and help some others along the way. Pretty clear motivation as far as I can see.

So - her insight.
I think the strand from her youhful desire to save her brother (I'm obviously generalising) that matured into research and hope for mankind and transcendent knowledge was galvanised into wisdom by her unique experience. A wonderful convergence.

My insight was more selfish - I wanted to understand myself and seek more insight into personal experience - which expanded to assisting others with their balance, then realising that it was a general transcendent desire for easing things in and out of reality that I was discussing.

She chats about this at the beggining of the clip when she discusses the differences between a delusional and someone who dreams and manifests/makes it happen.

Say you have a day at the park in your dream.
You can go and make that happen. Its making your dreams come true - or some version of.

If its beyond traditional reality and you insist its not - is it a question of time? A question of how intently you are focusing on the details and dotting the i's and t's of making reality.

Thought iris - this is the means by which you focus your mental constructs/objects and thus build your reality and form your relationships with it and with your identity.

What I designed was a means utilising narrative to flex this iris - this muscle of manifestation (which is a lame name and not the one I was going to use - I was thinking of seeking a latin name) - thus you have a workout for the ability to create. A creativity/intuition work out.

Not only to stimulate creativity but also to shut it down - thus allowing the same effect as her stroke - except in a controlled manner that holds anticipation and some form of run up.

You slowly submerge yourself and become accustomed to the disorientation - like staring at the sun.

She described the lack of orientation when she describes looking for her business card - when the numbers phase out of visual grasp and shift in and out of clarity and understanding.

I would imagine that idocy or innocense is a blessing in times of extreme peril.
We create our own pain - our own peril - these are learned experiences.

There is a Polish expression delivered to a child when they fall.
Quickly to kneel by their side and say.. "OH! - Did you catch the rabbit!?"

The clear intention is to disorient away from an extreme and unfamiliar sensation in the body - to move away from the idea that change must equal a negative body response - and to allow them to consider the pursuit of a fluffy tailed create.

Imagine if the world narrative and perspective, could for moments - only certain moments when it allowed itself - to chase the rabbit (not the dragon, I'm not encouraging opium for the people... I mean, not entertainment - entertainment and not pain would be a terrible thing... much better we have war and holding attention through fear than... oh hold on.. - I apologise for that momentary grasp of clarity.

Ooops.. I didn't catch the rabbit. It ran down that hole. I wonder how far down I should follow it?

Ah no matter - I'm sure it leads right back round to exactly the same place. Probably a better view from the other side anyway.