Good news

So Georgia.

Its okay now.. ish.

I think its sort of the equivalent of seeing a sleeping giant and kicking it over and over again for twenty years and then the thing wakes up. Its startling, especially when it moves with rapidity and lucidness - as if stillness for so long has brought clarity of mind and defined purpose.

As though that behemoth has been running through - or drilling - the motions for so long that it anticipates everything and can breach and push its desires with little regard but also little combatable offence to others. They showed JUST enough self control that their actions were not quashed by open acts against them being forced.

Vengence is not the tiny pellet you want to leave in a sleeping mind.
It grows and infects all opportunity, colours and filters events and relationships and will burst through the top soil in an ugly gnarled mess.

I mention this because I appear to be sleeping with my aspirations right now.
Not entirely so as each opportunity that rises is coloured with intention and is moving more inevitably and hopefully than useusual. Slow and steady wins the race.. but it can be a real challenge to hold the steady - retain the course when other supposedly easier options appear.

Retaining a single image/vision/goal in mind is - I don't know whether its hard.
But when others are expressing enjoyment at how they spend their lives then the inclination is to entertain their goal for a moment. Relish their good news and party with them - you neglect the fact that their goal is enjoyable as it has been part of their development. Part of their journey on the way to something else and they are now at a plateau, ready to take the next ascent.

By partying with them... its a wonderful ride on the coattails but just as though you grabbed the tail of a running beast of fulfilment - if you loosen your grip for a moment - you'll be flicked away into oblivion.

I am at a plateau - that doesn't mean its the top - but its not the bottom either.
And I'm assessing direction. Figuring out what kit I need. Whose in my team...

What information I need - thats the good news part.
I do need good news to urge me forward. But I also need bad news to get me the hell out of the plateau.

If I wait here long enough the seasons will change.
But then we'll endure such horror through ill preparation - Prediction and forecasting is a tricky thing.

I had a conversation about forecasting - socioeconomic.
Can it be objective? - Can it be anything other than the hopes or fearmongering of another individual? - Does the involvement of many, the tempering or moderation of a research institute assist in removing intent upon the end point?

I'm not convinced forecasting exists at all. I think the endevour is valuable but the analysis of forecasting must occur. The level to which it occurs is skill - but then so is subtle manipulation.
With ease and gentle guidance we can be nudged into most things - with consistent exposure to certain beliefs, certain forecasts, certain visions of the world - certain news spoken in certain tones and voices: We can believe and have faith in many unspeakable things.

So - If I'm asleep. And I'm dreaming. I'm contemplating in my fertile unconcious the actions and resources (whether physical, event, activity or mental objects/constructs) that I have encountered up til now.

There is a seed.

That seed is sitting in my brain - that which has been delivered with impact is probably deepest down. But they are also the more potent seeds.

I have relationships with people who can tend the top soil - till the earth and provide me with new ground, they can do the weeding. But only if 1. They can be arsd or 2. If they know what I consider to be weeds.

Are they employed by me or are they acting in alignment with me - or are they simply indiscriminantly weeding.

What is their basis for tending to my unconcious? - Do I realise what their value and belief system is and the effect its having?

This post is largely about what is going on for me in relation to the project.
I'm mentally and physically preparing for what is likely to be a demanding year.

I've seen in almost everything I've read/watched etc... recently that there opportunity comes in the shape of a shtstorm.

So when we ask for something - we are challenged into becoming the person prepared for it - challenged into understanding what it takes to do that which is necessary.

So it should make sense that those who reach/dream/pray/quest for the greatest things are challenged upon making the decision to acquire or attain these heights.

Perhaps perhaps perhaps - I should be looking at what I'm being challenged by and realise what I am being passive about - and do that with the good news in mind that confronting and surmounting the challenge will leave me with a specific capacity. Then to recognise the correlation between my future capacity and my desire for a particular state in the future.

I know I am seeking clarity and patience.
So - I'm sent more distractions that I could possibly imagine. Actually thats not true so I'd better be careful. I can image a hell of a lot more distraction so I'm going to reign that in.

So distractions are there.
Clarity is beyond and within those distractions.

What is my capacity - what are my resources - how do they meet?

Hmm...

Well - good news is I know they can.
Support network is the first thing I'm turning to. Thats not necessary immediately I need to consider what needs to be done immediately. Get myself into a place ready to accept rather than ignore the challenge - listen carefully to its nature and then notice what I can do about it.

So instead of fleeing the scene - articulate, define, recognise, realise and know my responsibility - know I chose it and that I can put the dang thing down whenever I want.



I know I'm not going to.. Or am I - I should at least recognise its a possibility to quit otherwise I'm doing it through duty. Perhaps then the challenge is to acknowledge that I can quit.
I've been trying to NOT do something about challenges I face for some time now.
To indulge in the distractions - to find something that is unrelated to the core ideals and my core values. Perhaps in that its recognition that I have further capacity. That my eggs aren't all in this one basket - that I can diversify.

But then I'm taking an MBA - that diversifies things a bit. Until I start. Thats not going to fully be seen as a distraction - a worthy one. Its still a..

Now hold on.
If I'm not acknowledging the MBA as I haven't experienced it - and thats something I'm signed and sealed to.. then what is my sentiment towards the rest of this stuff that I have no definitive date/investment/outline to (although I do its self realised)???

Acting as if in clarity.
If that were the case I could pick up anything and lay it down again and it wouldn't stick.
I could assess and realise the most appropriate moment to address it.

So I'm addressing - recognising this thought. Knowing I've got to deal with this blog.

But there are other things to know what they are rather than push them into the pile of darkeness that resides in the possible futures of myself.

Doing that isn't clarity - So.. I bid you adieu. I'm off to dig around in my unconcious and till the earth. Maybe do some weeding whilst I'm at it.

p.s - Don't try to cook quinoa exactly like cous cous - it may look the same. It is not.